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Hulu is now streaming Scotch: A Golden Dream, a documentary about booze featuring people dubbed “The Nose” and “The Duke of Argyll.” It’s directed by a person named Andrew Peat — apparently because Johnny Snifter wasn’t available — who travels the isle of Islay talking to key figures in the local scotch scene and shooting B-roll of kilted men heaving cabers around and playing bagpipes. So is this doc a fascinating foray into a subcultural niche, or is it a for-sippers-only film? Either way, you might have to be crocked to enjoy it.
The Gist: Goats. Sheep. Cows. THIS (pause for dramatic effect) is the Scottish highlands. It’s where ruddy men have been making scotch for centuries. One of those men lifts a glass of golden-brown liquid to the light, sniffs it. He is Jim McEwan, and in Scotchworld, he. Is. A. God. Whisky writers and whisky knowers call him the greatest living ambassador for the scotch lifestyle, or whatever you might call it. He’s been distilling the stuff for more than five decades. At the time of filming, he was official King of Scotch at Bruichladdich Distillery, which, if you’re a civilian like me, is pronounced “brookladdy.” You’re going to spend a lot of time with McEwan for the next 89 minutes, and he’s a likeable enough guy, and shows no ego about his status.
Peat interviews a bunch of pale folk who are “master blenders,” “global brand ambassadors” and “dudes who pound metal rings on barrels” for a variety of distilleries, some of which you might recognize and be able to almost pronounce, including Ardbeg, Glenmorangie and Grnranargblagchh (pronounced “grnranargblagchh”), one of which I might have just made up, because I’m part Scottish, so I’m allowed to do that. Part of the doc is devoted to the process of making scotch, from harvesting the barley to fermentation, distillation, maturating, blending and bottling, which you’ll be shocked to learn, is the process of putting scotch into glass containers.
That’s the science of scotch. To balance that, we get a whole lotta romanticizing about the art of making it, with guys talking about putting passion into a batch, and how “one smells smells subliminally.” There’s a bit about the CRAZY phenomenon of women enjoying scotch and even GASP working in the business. Some guys share long-winded stories about sharing whisky; a bottlemaker brags about hand-crafting containers for really expensive scotch; there’s a booze-porn shot of a $628,000 bottle of Macallan; and for anyone hoping to try their hand at really truly appreciating the living shit out of a dram of scotch, a few talking heads give some indispensable nosing lessons (hey-o). I yearned for an interview with a psychologist to comment on whether some of these people are a little bit loony, but no, it’s merely implied.
What Movies Will It Remind You Of?: A Golden Dream has all the dynamics of the films about rock types my ninth-grade earth science teacher used to thread into the projector. Notably, Hulu’s RIYL feature autoplayed a doc called Neat: The Story of Bourbon, and I can report that it, too, features shots of old white guys sniffing handfuls of dirt!
Performance Worth Watching: Richard “The Nose” Paterson is the most animated interviewee, giving a little bit of dramatic flair to all this extremely in-the-weeds commentary. They don’t call him “The Nose” for nothing, it seems.
Memorable Dialogue: McEwen speaks for himself when he says, “It’s every kid’s dream to work in a distillery.”
Sex and Skin: “It’s almost orgasmic when you open the cask up.” “This is the reheating station, called the glory hole.” “Mmm-mmm-mmm, hello there.” “You pick up flavor from the wood.”
Our Take: WARNING: While watching Scotch: A Golden Dream, do not play the double-entendre drinking game with scotch. Watery beer will do.
This profile of no-computers/nose-and-palate-only upscale moonshiners is for friends and family of McEwen and people who have read 14-page profiles of McEwen in Peat ‘n’ Mash Weekly. Which is to say, it’s heavy on the McEwen story, and even concludes with his daughter crying over his retirement (and a postscript about how he unretired three years later). This is fine, but for those of us who aren’t enthusiasts of the amber stuff, the film is dryyyyy like a cracker from Milhouse’s dad’s factory.
Learning about the science and art of the distilling process and the long, deep (hey-o) regional history of the spirit is interesting for a minute. But tonally, A Golden Dream feels like a promotional tool for Bruichladdich that has no reason to be a full-length feature. And visually, Peat struggles to find compelling imagery outside of talking heads in warmly lit interiors, nostrils in snifters and coopers coopering. As a middle-aged Caucasian, I enjoy the occasional dram (fancy word for shot) of Lagavulin, but only on special occasions, because it’s expensive. This movie is for people far more advanced on the scotch-interest spectrum than I.
Our Call: SKIP IT. Scotch: A Golden Dream is dullsville. Unless you’re inspired to build a tiny home in an oak barrel, then by all means, imbibe.
Should you stream or skip the boozy documentary #Scotch: A Golden Dream on @hulu? #SIOSI
John Serba is a freelance writer and film critic based in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Read more of his work at johnserbaatlarge.com or follow him on Twitter: @johnserba.
Watch Scotch: A Golden Dream on Hulu
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